we cruised along at 1/2 speed.. but then we shifted gears.







horrible night last night... horrible day today. and i dont know if yesterday should be considered horrible or fantastic. crap... im such a friggin pessimist. even over the smallest of things i can tear myself apart.


Fate. Is there really such a thing? at first i keep thinking its us that choose our own fate.. but im starting to reconsider.. maybe its really something we cant control.. a plan already made for us to follow without knowing. maybe thats why im been so down for these few years.. maybe its because i try to create my own fate.... so forget " i reject reality and substitute my own". cuz from now on, im gonna be care-frickin-free.

and so i guess its another year of being a member of the SCA ( singles club association)... its as easy breaking some1s heart as it is breaking your own. but i guess we cant sit on the fence eh.. owell. cant ask for much anyway... guess i dont even know myself as well as i though i would.

why are schools ONLY focused on getting better aggrgate? Why is the MOE making all these implementations on the schs? why are parents only concerned that the kids bring back only As and nothing else? WHY THE FLYING ___ is society allowing this in the 1st place? ok it may not be the case for some schools. but still... all i see nowadays are just kids that can merely read off a book. if its not in the book, its not important. some teachers as well.. why are we grooming kids to become walking pieces of crap? sch, tutions, homework.. ffs i know education is important yes, but not to that extend where freedom is nearly removed from their lives. Horrible to grow up in this kinda society.. and im never gonna put my kid ( if i have one ) through that, cuz i think teaching them to be HUMAN is 100% better than teaching them to be nothing but bookworms that have no balls to stand up for their rights, and no sense of just about any other thing. i mean... besides earing money, they cant do nuts.

busy busy busy.. CWSS camp was great, scouts is still going downhill, and thrs work tomorrow. yep.. finally.. something that has NOTHING to do with slacking at home. =P well. i gotta go. needa wake up early tomorrow. Cya~

So clever,
Whatever,
I'm done with these endeavors.
Alone I walk the winding way.
(Here I stay)
It's over,
No longer,
I feel it growing stronger.
I'll live to die another day,
Until I fade away.


Why give up, why give in?
It's not enough, it never is.
So I will go on until the end.
We've become desolate.
It's not enough, it never is.
But I will go on until the end.



Surround me,
It's easy
To fall apart completely.
I feel you creeping up again.
(In my head)
It's over,
No longer,
I feel it growing colder.
I knew this day would come to end,
So let this life begin.



Why give up, why give in?
It's not enough, it never is.
So I will go on until the end.
We've become desolate.
It's not enough, it never is.
But I will go on until the end.



I've lost my way.
I've lost my way, but I will go on until the end.

Living is hard enough
Without you fucking up.



Why give up, why give in?
It's not enough, it never is.
So I will go on until the end.
We've become desolate.
It's not enough, it never is.
But I will go on until the end.



I've lost my way.
I've lost my way, but I will go on until the end.

U-uh, u-uh

The final fight I'll win,
The final fight I'll win,
The final fight I'll win,
But I will go on until the end.



Breaking Benjamin- until the end.

AAR- believe


I don't ever want to believe
I don't ever want to believe yeah
That when we die
We all leave

Your innocence is not forgotten
I hope you know that where you are I wish you well
I hope you sleep in a perfect memory
You know it's hard I tried
I could never say goodbye


I don't ever wanna believe
I don't ever wanna believe yeah
That when we die
We all leave
I don't ever wanna let go
I hope that you see yeah
That there's a part of you that's left inside of me


Yesterday just took me hostage
Yesterday locked me away from any truth
And now tomorrow's here without you
I know it's hard I've tried
I could never say goodbye


I don't ever wanna believe
I don't ever wanna believe yeah
That when we die
We all leave
I don't ever wanna let go
I hope that you see yeah
That there's a part of you that's left inside of me
That there's a part of you that left inside


I try to push you away
But you never push back
You know I'll never forget you
I never thought I'd say that
You made a mess out of me


I don't ever wanna believe
I don't ever wanna believe yeah
That when we die
That we all leave

I don't ever wanna believe
I don't ever wanna believe yeah
That when we die
That we all leave

I don't ever wanna let go
I hope that you see yeah

That there's a part of you that's left inside of me
That there's a part of you that's left inside of me
That there's a part of you that's left inside of me
That there's a part of you that's left inside of me

that was either my best decision, or my worst in my life : to let you go

i know being a pessimist isnt good... but in these situations, being an optimist isint a good idea either...

feeling screwed now.. i dont know what... argh. why the heck am i feeling so horrible?! i know its because of the usual matters but i didnt expect it to reach these levels of intensity..



anyways.. superb boring day today.. watched dejavu, resident evil 1, 2 and 3. hahas.. yes no life i know.. but what the heck. and damn the diffrence in RE1 and 3 is WTF man! from a bunch of crappy walking zombies to a bunch of crappy zombies but with a bit more cool facials. haha. well back to watching.. cya..


hope this sucky feeling goes away. PERMANENTLY. but yet i dont know how to do it.

love is a "camouflaged never ending pit of doom" in which u can easily fall into, but cant get out... starting to feel low again... damn. well just hope i dont enter that stage again..

well.. average day today, yesterday was great though, due to certain reasons which i would not go in depth to... man its boring...


perhaps this will give u a better feeling by what
i mean LARGEST trees...






i really really miss you, and seriously.. you cant seem to get out of my mind. i hope for our sake that nothing happens again , cuz if it does, i cant see how im gonna recover from it..

good day today ( surprise surprise!) lols.. work was great. saw lots of stuff. ( including the flying lemur which sadly i couldnt take a shot of.) after that trekked down to sch for scouts. NOTE TO SCOUTS : pls, buck up.. cuz ur discipline is crap... your just lucky im having a good day.

yeah.. hope tomorrow and the weeks to come will be the same. =)


2 of the largest trees in the area... too bad cant really see the size


quite obvious its a stick insect...




this guy is HUGE, i swear. its as bigger than my palm


Mr.big- stay together


It's shame
That our paths should have crossed so young
Who's to blame
For the tears and the damage done

All I know
Is I can't forget the time we had
And I'm sorry if it turned out bad

Even though I want you
Even though I need you
Even though my heart is screaming
Still believing
We could fall in love

Even though I want you
Even though I need you
Even though we won't find better
We can't stay together

Tell me why
There were secrets you never told oh, no
It's a crime
The cliche of a love gone old

All I know
Is I've given all I can to you
And there's nothing more that I can do

Even though I want you
Even though I need you
Even though my heart is screaming
Still believing
We could fall in love

Even though I want you
Even though I need you
Even though we won't find better
We can't stay together

It's all right
Happiness only comes to few
But in time you may find it in someone new

Solo

Even though I want you
Even though I need you
Even though my heart is screaming
Still believing
We could fall in love

Even though I want you
Even though I need you
Even though we won't find better
We can't stay together

Stay together
Stay together
Ow!